Thursday, February 27, 2014

Day 58: 5:00

Last night I fell asleep about the same time as Liam.  How do I know this?  Probably because I fell asleep in bed while tucking Liam in. 

So in truth, I probably fell asleep before Liam.

I wasn't feeling well, and I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before...there were a whole host of reasons.  Basically I was prepared to sleep the whole night through with no disruptions and no reason to get up.

And then 5:00 came.  Actually, 4:45 came, and along with that, a little 18 month old that suddenly decided his crib was the worst place to be in the whole wide world. 

Looking back, I was probably a tiny bit bitter. 

I made him cry.  I went in and patted him.  And then made him cry some more.  I made myself coffee and rocked him a little.  Then made him cry a little longer.  FINALLY at 5:05 after 20 minutes that felt like FIVE HOURS I went in and scooped him up.  Actually, "scooped" seems way too cheerful.  It was more of a thrust, or a grab perhaps.  Whatever it was, it wasn't as lovely and magical as "scooping".  I stumbled out to the living room with my coffee in one had and him in the other.  I sat down on the couch ready for the long-haul of the morning where I get nothing done and spend a lot of time trying to remember to breath.

But then there was a moment.  There, in the dark with my coffee and my son we had a moment - which is rare with the youngest.  He told me story after story that I didn't understand, and I nodded in agreement and asked questions that he pretended to answer.  Watching his lips move, seeing him point in earnest, and figure out expressions that are meaningful - that was my gift today. 

Today I am thankful for that hour I got to spend alone with my youngest son.

 It was way better than trying to figure out how I was going to edit the 483 photos that are sitting on my computer waiting for some attention (not even an exaggeration - you can come look if you want (but then I might trick you into watching my kids while I take a nap.))