Tuesday, August 27, 2013

a lot.

So sitting down to write is actually the hardest part, right?

That's what I hope anyways.

I have a lot to write.  I've thought many thoughts and have felt many feelings since we've been home....which is exactly 59 days from the moment I sit here at my computer wondering where to start.

Here is our story of starting again.

For months we spent countless hours wondering where we were going to go next.  It only seemed right that an adventure of epic nature could follow what we had just uprooted ourselves to experience.  We spent months applying for jobs - Dustin whole heartedly putting everything he had into every application he submitted.  Me just doing a half-assed job of filling out online teaching applications to schools I found by google-searching "art teaching jobs in __________."  It was dire.  It was sad.  Rejection is hard people. Even when you don't pine for the job, your want them to pine for you.

In the midst of it all I kept trying to reconcile how I was going to see my dearest friends in Middle America when I got home, and then tell them I was off again.  My heart ached prematurely for those goodbyes.  Nothing really felt right.

And then one day we decided on the perfect adventure.  It started with a little resistance, and then a little excitement.  Soon it developed into a dream job for Dustin and what seemed like the perfect job for me.

We decided our adventure was actually right where our lives together started.  More specifically - where Dustin's actually life began - just around the block from the house his parents brought him home to when he entered this world.

D put away his teaching hat and pulled on some pretty hot corporate trousers to work as a web designer for a local college.  I get to go to another local college 3 days a week and call artists up on the phone, hang artwork, throw art receptions, and work with student artists.

We. Are. So. Lucky.

(If I use periods between each word do you feel my relief?)

So currently I get to do a number of things I dreamed for my life the entire time I was in Northern Ireland.
  1. I get to walk my son to school barefoot. (Although I've opted for shoes every time so far.)
  2. I get to walk or ride my bike everywhere I want to go.
  3. I have days off to play with my boys.
I also have some unexpected things that we're living through embracing right now.
  1. We are currently living in a one-bedroom apartment until the place we will be living is available - which keeps inching further and further away.  I told my doctor that we're pretending we live in New York City.  He snorted.
  2.  Making money really cramps our style.  It was easier when we didn't have to "bring home the bacon" in order to do things like buy toilet paper and bread. 
And there are things that I'm dreaming of doing one day.
  1. Starting a new art mixed media series.
  2. Putting together a website.
  3. More photography.
  4. Mmmmmm, I don't know....maybe moving into a bigger place with TWO BEDROOMS!!
  5. Discovering what I still own that is packed in a million boxes.
What I forgot to mention in there is that there were a lot of tears.  A lot of wanting to give up.  A lot of slamming things onto the ground and shouting at my husband that "IJUSTCAN'TTAKEITANYMORE!".  A lot of laughing at the predicament we've gotten ourselves into.  A lot of deep sighs and confused shrugs.

But also a lot of relaxing and soothing vacations with family.  A lot of letting our parents take care of us in ways no one else would.  A lot of laughter and stories.  A lot of healing and excitement.

My cup is full of a lot.