Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Day 99: Solitude

Yesterday my patience ran out.  It didn't just run out once in one completely ran dry for about 2/3 of the day.  I think I must have woken up with it depleted.  At one point I even told Liam that I needed him to go sit in his room for five minutes so that I could finish what I was doing and think straight.  His bottom lip said it all...

And I will 100% admit that I am not the most patient person in the world, but I do try.  And that trying really wears me down - to the point that I have no more patience for the adults in my life - namely, my poor husband.

Yesterday I officially lost my patience with everyone who could breath, get hungry, and make sounds - myself included.   

I think it is all linked to a bigger picture of anxiety that I don't want to bore anyone with.  It's very deep and very interesting - blah blah blah, I promise.  

{Side note}  I wish there was a sarcasm font - wouldn't that help relieve most of us of miscommunications via the written word? {End side note}

Luckily at about 3:00 I had a do-over when Dustin took Miles to music class and Oliver was sleeping and I allowed myself the gift of letting Liam watch an entire hour and half of afternoon cartoons. (SOMEONE CALL DCFS!) 

As my friend Stephanie put it, "Tiffany, you are the type of person that just needs solitude.  That's just who you are."

And I am not afraid to admit that I've actually admitted it to myself.

After someone pointed it out to me.

Today I am thankful for dosages of solitude.

By 4:45 we were having a dance party.  By 5:00 I was laughing again.  By 6:00 Oliver had microwaved my mascara only to be discovered after it exploded in our food.  (Unrelated question: If I put it on my face, I can definitely eat it, right?)

But at least at this point I could laugh again.

And today is like the gift of a do-over.  Except that I'll be at work all day.  In a closet.  By myself.