Monday, June 27, 2011

Where to begin...

In exactly four weeks and four days I have to be out of my house.
In exactly eight weeks my former co-workers will be unlocking their classrooms and dusting off their computers.
In exactly two months and three weeks I will be on my way across the ocean.

And how have I been preparing?

(insert sound of crickets chirping here.)

To be honest this cavalier attitude is new for me.  I find myself slightly freaked out about not being freaked out.  I set a date for a garage sale, but my heart is only halfway in it.  Don't get me wrong...I'm not resisting the cleansing of my possessions, it's more that I wish I could afford to just give them all away, still make it over to N. Ireland, and still have a small savings for when we return. 
It's like that one time in Grey's Anatomy.....
(come on, don't act surprised that I went there.)
....when Christina went through post traumatic stress disorder (Season 7, Episodes 1-10) and she's just apathetic and distant. 
I don't think I'm apathetic about most things....but that look she has on her face.  That's the look I envision myself having when I think about leaving.
There are A LOT of things I'm going to miss.  A LOT of things I will yearn for when I'm gone.  But for some reason God has allowed me this gift of time.  There is this period of time when I don't have to dwell on these looming important things. 
When I can polish jewelry that may never get into a store to sell, buy bags of sugar that I may never get to eat, plant tomato plants that I'll never see swell up into beautiful tomatoes. 
I may be acting foolishly indifferent, but for right now, I'm allowed that.