Yesterday I shut down my computer, turned in my last gradebook, and handed over the keys that have been dangling from my keyring for the last seven years.
I had been dreading that moment for weeks now - the finality of it.
My department bought the entire faculty cake, and me a sweet little gift. I received cards with notes from the people I've called my coworkers and friends. It was all understated....and exactly how I wanted it.
As I picked up my last box to carry out to my car I didn't say goodbye to anyone. I looked back at my bare-walled room and considered taking a picture. But I didn't.
My classroom door closed and locked behind me and I had a brief moment of panic. What if I needed to get in there next week because I forgot something? I realized that this was ridiculous. (Until today, when I realized that I really do need back in there.)
Here's the surprising thing. I didn't cry. I'm a crier that didn't cry on her last day of work at a job she loved. I got in my car, went out to lunch with dear friends, and then took off for my parents' house.
I haven't been able to talk to anyone, but I feel surprisingly at peace.
Did I mention that we accepted an offer on the house the night before?
I feel this incredible amount of peace over closing some major chapters in my life this week and it's freaking me out. Where are the tears and the overreactions? How am I holding it together?
Just another indication that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.