Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Last Time

We are closet co-sleepers.  Or at least we were.  For more than a year a little 2-3 year old has shuffled over to our room every night somewhere between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.  I could be sound asleep, but most nights I could hear him come over before he even crossed his doorway.  Or, on other nights I would wake up to "Mommy!" being whispered in my face. 
We knew it had to end eventually.  We were trying to strategize ways to transition that would be painless - for everyone involved.  I never thought I would have a child that slept with my husband and I 90% of the time.   But that was before I woke up next to this.....
Perhaps there was a part of me that resisted the transition because I still felt guilty about my indecision and strict no-co-sleeping policy when we first brought him home and he maybe needed that attachment with us.  Perhaps I was just being selfish because having a little guy curl up against you that smells like baby shampoo might be the best way to spend the night. 
It doesn't matter though.  Because it ended.  I didn't come up with a great strategy.  We didn't have nights of crying it out, or painful evenings of having to argue with him over which bed he was sleeping in. 
It just ended.  On his own he decided he didn't need to come over anymore.  And I didn't even realize it until last night.  Since I've been home from school, he hasn't come over once.
I should be thrilled that it was so easy.
I should be jumping up and down, high-fiving Dustin on our awesome strategy of no strategy at all.
Instead I'm trying to remember the last time Miles curled up next to me or whispered loudly in my face that he needed water.  Because it was the last time, and I didn't know it was the last time when it happened. 
And it just reminds me that there will be other "last times"....that I won't remember....because I won't know until it's too late.


thewonderfulhappens said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

that is one of the hardest things about parenting. You never know which time is going to be your last. The one "last" I was in control over was the last time I nursed Isaac, and that was very emotional for me!! Maybe sometimes it's better not to know.

Hilary said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

We started out as closet co-sleepers too...now by the 3rd we are fully out of the closet. :). This post reminded me so much of this post I did last year.
Good reminder for us, thanks!

Jill said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I know exactly what you mean about not knowing it's the last time until it's too late - great reminder to enjoy all those things that are gone before you know it - literally! I am happy you didn't have to go through a stressful time of convincing him to stay in his own bed though. :)