I am a "belonger".
I'm not a follower.
And I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm always a great leader. I'd like to think I am a great leader, but my reality realizes that I'm really just a bossy leader.
But my soul thrives on being a belonger.
(Firefox says that's a made-up word. I say it's my blog.)
Don't get me wrong - I don't always want to be surrounded by people. I also like to be alone and in solitude. But I like to know there is an organized group on the other end waiting for me - even if it is just a group I threw together at the last minute to go see Hunger Games.
I love to belong to things. I always have. A good group gives me purpose and a place - something to do. I crave things like bookclubs and women's groups. You don't even have to have anything interesting to discuss. If you offer an invitation with the occasional coffee and cake, I will be there.
Maybe that's why I love church. There are times when I wish I was one of those snazzy people that intellectually hates organized religion, but I'm not. I sometimes really dislike the people making decisions for me, and the decisions they make. I often disagree with them. But I still crave a church body to love.
Churches aren't perfect and I know that. But I am forgiving. I have
been so fortunate to not know first hand of terrible church scandals and
acts of prejudice that have driven so many people from their
congregations. The church as an institution is flawed, but only because
it is created by humans. We are flawed. There are things that my
church has to decide are right or wrong, because humans within that
church demand clarity. These things I don't always agree with. There
are people I don't always agree with. And I could never belong to a
church that didn't hold love as its trump card over everything,
But I do love the types of things that make me want to look for a church and attend every Sunday. I love when people keep track of where you are in the adoption process and act even more excited than you about the little baby you're bringing home. I love when people say things like "I'll pray for you.", "I'm thinking of you," or "I'll bring over a casserole". Speaking of casseroles, I love that when you bring home a baby, or have surgery, there are people out there that think to organize a calendar full of warm homemade dishes to bring to your doorstep. I love when a chorus of people come together to fill a room with song, or bow their heads together in reverence.
Finding a church family to belong to here has been difficult. The church body is so different here than at home, and we left a church that we really felt comfortable in. It wasn't full of fancy projectors or a full band, but it was full of people that loved us.
They loved us.
Maybe that's why I love church....because I love to feel loved.
Perhaps it's not the belonging - but the love.