Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The last time...

Today I went out to lunch with my good friends Becky R. and Becky B., along with our children Miles, Liam, Caleb, and baby soon-to-be-named. :)  Becky B. was telling me about a note she read on Facebook concerning motherhood.  She went on to mention how we go through life celebrating firsts:  First smile, first words, first steps, etc., but how in the meantime we don't really realize the last time anything happens.  This has been on my mind ever since I left the restaurant.  Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.  Someday Miles won't want me to hold his hand walking down the stairs - someday he won't even want me to come down the stairs!

When will be the last time you wake up at night and need me?
When will I no longer be the only person that can comfort you?
When will be the last time you need me to kiss you head when you bump it on the doorjam?
When will you no longer need to kiss me goodnight?
When will you tell me that I don't need to read you stories before bed anymore?
When will you stop sitting on my lap?
When will you stop thinking I'm funny (although I know I'll ALWAYS be funny)
When will you stop walking with your hands behind your back like you have a secret surprise stashed back there?
When will you stop saying "UhOh" 25 times a day?
When will you stop running to me when I walk in the door?
When will you no longer need me to take care of you?

I know that these aren't things that we are programmed to dwell on...and for that I am thankful.  It is just too heartbreaking to think about.  However, these thoughts that that conversation today reminded me to embrace these things that seem so trivial now.  So tonight when Liam wakes up to be fed at 3 am I'm going to remember that this doesn't last forever.  And when Miles walks into my room at 5 am with his stuffed bear and monkey I will take a photograph with my mind....hoping to remember these moments forever.

Liam (one month)

Miles (18 months)