Thursday, August 21, 2014

Day 231 and 232: Yesterday and Today

I am clearly writing this a day after Day 231.  Yesterday was Wednesday.  Yesterday was a hard day.
I wish I could just spew it all out here for all of you to read - mostly because I want you to feel sorry for me, and because I know I would be wrapped in love.  But the truth is that my reality right now is not just my own, but my family's.

When your reality doesn't fall into "normal" it is isolating and terrifying.  It is hard to imagine anyone empathizing without trying to fix.  It is hard to understand how someone couldn't be critical of the way you are handing it, because clearly if you were handling it the right way none of this would be happening.  It is hard to understand how people find the energy to do normal things without fear and dread coursing through their veins.  It is hard to see perfect First Day of School pictures and commentary on social media without it feeling like a swift kick to the stomach.  It is hard to believe that anyone would understand.  Luckily I have people who understand.

Really understand.

Like, "Dude, I'm living it" understand.

And those people are important enough to take up two days of my gratitude - because without them, days like this would be much harder than they already are.

Today I am thankful for those people.

And I promise tomorrow my gratitude is going to start taking a more positive spin.  Well, at least positive-ish.