Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dear Baby

Dear Baby.

This has been a big week for us.  A huge week.  The type of week that makes a relationship cemented into the hearts of it's carriers. 
You must know I love you.  I've loved you from the moment you made your presence known to me. I loved you when I was up all night sick.  I loved you when I saw your beating heart for the first time.  I loved you when I was confined to my house because I couldn't find the energy to lift a single finger past my forehead.
But in the last few days that love has expanded into something so rich and amazing.
Two days ago I found out whether you're a boy or a girl.  Suddenly you are a person.  Suddenly I am picturing you at 3 and 10 and 25.  I picture the ways you are going to enhance our family.  I picture our family vacations and adventures.  I picture us going out for ice cream - because are going to have to like ice cream. I picture your place at our table.  I can not wait to name you, and meet you, and hold you.
Then yesterday you kicked so hard your dad could feel you for the first time.  It seems so early.  You must be so strong.  Fierce.  I'll warn you...there is a lot of fierceness in our family, but it is the type of fierce that we welcome and adore.  The type you'll need to have to survive in this family.  You have two older brothers that already have their opinions about you.
You have an entire house of volunteers that are just dying to meet you.
So these next few months as  I keep what I know about you a secret, know that from the moment I knew who I was going to be raising I was overjoyed.  And excited. 
Someone asked me yesterday what sound I made when I found out.
I'll tell you this baby.  I was silent.  Because the answer felt right.  And I knew instantly that you were the right one for the job.

Love, your mama.


Wendy V. said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh sweet baby, I can't wait to see if you are a little boy or little girl!

Rachel Harder said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh Tiff,
This made me tear up. You summed up pregnancy so well. And anyone who wonders how one can be so sad after a stillbirth, I will have them read this. Thank you. For reminding me of the excitement I had when Maggie was around.