Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Day 307: One Day

One day you wake up from a haze of busyness and remember that you were once an artist and a writer.  You remember that you loved baking and there was a soothing quality to throwing together a meal that now escapes you.  You edit photo upon photo, but never for yourself.  Daily you talk about the importance of sketching, yet your sketchbook lies on the shelf unopened and untouched.


When you wake up you try to shake off the uneasiness and the cobwebs that have fogged your mind. Because of what life has handed you, you're not the mother you thought you'd be, or the artist, or the writer.  You haven't been unhappy or unfulfilled, but you wonder how you have survived this dryspell of your lifeNot only have you survived it, but you have cherished it.  Loved it.

Which makes you panic.  Are you no longer these things?  Will you never again experiment and build.  Create and dream of ideas?  Is that part just over?  Are you just content with surviving?

Do you care?

You do.

You care about that and so much more now.  The problem isn't that there is an emptiness in your life, but that there is so much goodness and beautiful responsibility in your life that your bucket overflows.  Creating must become a priority for everyone, including the artist and non-artist.  10 years ago life was different, but not nearly as messy and gorgeous.  It was easy and boring.  It was also unpredictable and stressful.  There was endless time to be something amazing.

Be someone. Do something.

Make sure it's big.

Definitions change.  Defining yourself is no longer measured in what the outside sees.   Those are only glimpses into what you really are.

Today my classroom board filled with this quote: "Be thankful for what you are now, and KEEP FIGHTING for what you want to be tomorrow."

Today I am thankful for who I am today.

Different than I planned, but better in many ways.

And tomorrow holds great possibility.