I made my own cheese.
That's how confused I was.
Seriously. There are people out there that make really good cheese - natural non-processed cheese, and I was grasping so violently for something to be an expert in, that I chose cheese.
Those people are called cheese makers. A cheese maker I am not.
The truth is that I most definitely wasn't an expert at parenting. My role as a mother is so far from what I expected when I started this journey 7 years ago. As I sat through various parent/teacher conferences, counseling appointments, and doctor's appointments I would shrink into my chair and feel like a failure at the one thing I was supposed to be doing at this season in my life. Inevitably I felt the need to blurt out "I was a teacher for seven years!" at every single instance.
My desperation was embarrassing. It was like I wanted everyone to know that I do know something other than this. There was something else that I actually was almost an expert at. It was imperative that they know this. Life or death really.
But the beauty of all this is that I have learned despite my lack of expertise in parenting, I am actually a really good apprentice. I am an excellent listener and note-taker. I learn quickly from mistakes and adjust to changing tides. I will probably never be an expert, but I will enjoy the journey of learning.
Today I am thankful for patient instructors.