It's Thanksgiving morning and I'm sitting here cuddled up on my couch in the dark with a cup of tea in the early hours of the morning trying to sum up the energy to write. Someone reminded me recently that writing is so important to me, and I mustn't let a little thing like life get in the way of that.
It's been a difficult autumn. Correction - it's been a difficult and beautiful and full and empty autumn. I told my therapist last week that I stopped writing because I didn't want to be whiny all of the time - which lead her to give me a look like, "a ha!" and a short lecture about vulnerability. To which I thought, "I'll show you vulnerability." and decided to put on my blog the words, I told my therapist. How's that for vulnerability?
On Monday I had outpatient surgery for an incredibly embarrassing medical reason that I actually am not willing to disclose on here (even in the face of vulnerability). After all of the work, they found that there actually was nothing to operate on. Basically, I got the anesthesia for free. I guess I should be rejoicing in no news (which I am), rather than being embarrassed that I went to all that trouble. I did get to lay around all day, which never ever ever happens - so it wasn't a total waste.
Things I'm Thankful for on Thanksgiving.
My clean(ish) bill of health.
Last night for the first time in over a year Miles crawled into bed with us. I don't know if it was a bad dream or being cold, but without a word he crawled onto my side of the bed. Of course I didn't sleep the rest of the night, but it felt good to have him there - next to me. Needing me.
Days off school
Nowhere to go
Guys, my raging child is raging less. That is hard for me to write about, because (luckily for you) 80% of you don't really know what it means for a child to rage. Unluckily for me, and my child, I do. And it's happening less. And he's finding ways to calm himself down. And for the first time in years I can gulp at the air and see dry land. For the first time I don't believe this season may last a lifetime. I'm thankful for hope.
Dreaming up schemes
My boys - I mean, look at them - amazing.
Yesterday we celebrated Liam's birthday. That boy is turning 5. I can't even believe it. His new thing is tap dancing. Must find tap shoes. I'm thankful for spunk and uninhibited individuality.
Evenings on the couch with my husband, curled up in our big green blanket - whether it is spent watching Hulu, or reading, or on our separate laptops. Feeling him there is good. I'm thankful that I have him here everyday.
Pumpkin pie (which I hope without abandon that I get today)
Sweet potato casserole
Memories of Thanksgivings at Corrymeela - my favorite event of the year.
Today I'm thankful for Thanksgiving.