Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Day 292: Fieldtrip

My job has been challenging in ways I wasn't prepared for this year.  A combination of people (adults) assuming I know things I don't know, combined with me thinking I should know things I don't know has made for feelings of inadequacy in many areas.  We aren't talking advanced color theory, or the pre-historic art develops people - we're talking "how in the heck do you make a color copy up in this joint  and what do you mean by 'verify your grades'."   When you're at a job for a long time you know things that you don't realize you know until you're in a new place with a new dynamic and a new way of doing things.
I ask too many questions.
I need too much clarity.
I'm annoying even to myself.

I often leave for the day wondering how I could so easily take two steps back from the place I left three years ago.  Trying to catch up with myself has proven to be difficult.  The root of everything feels raw and tender.  I'm not sure where I should be when.

The teenage brain?  A whole other rant.

But then today I had a glimpse of why I do this.

A simple fieldtrip, that took me only an hour to plan, but dazzled a handful of my students in ways I alone couldn't.  Their eyes sparkled and the inspiration was tangible.

Today I'm thankful for fellow artists that walk along this journey of inspiring our youth, and every once in awhile throw me a favor.  

Today reminded me how lucky I am to be here.


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And how blessed your students are to have you here, Tiffany! Remember that if we are not learning, then we are not growing, no matter what our ages in years.