Tonight I was reading through the twenty million books Miles and Liam had picked out for me when Liam, out of nowhere asked me if he could sit on my lap.
My automatic response as we huddled together on the edge of his bunk bed, cramped and already on top of one another, was "You're fine where you are".
But something stopped me.
He's four years old. This is fleeting. So I said "yes".
I can already feel my almost six year old floating away from me. It is as though I am beginning to count down the times left that he will curl up on my lap in earnest. Every moment the number seems to diminish before my eyes. There are so many things I focus on them doing on their own right now - tying their shoes - zipping their coats - pouring their own coffee. In the midst of trying to raise boys I am losing my babies to something beyond my control.
Today I am thankful that he asked to sit on my lap.