Thursday, April 19, 2012

Future President of the United States...or not.

In a very interesting or not-so-interesting discussion over cups of tea (because that's what we do now) I came to the realization that only one of my children will have the opportunity to actually run for President of the United States.

Actually, I remember making the realization that Miles wouldn't ever be able to do it around the time that the almighty Trump was questioning whether our President actually had an American birth certificate.  At the time it really bothered me.  Little can be anything you want to be when you grow up... except President.  There are actually laws preventing you from moving into the White House and running our country.

If I really think about it, I don't actually want to be the mother of the President.  I can't really think of anything worse now that I write this.  There are many reasons when you think about it.  You would always be in the public eye and have to wear old-lady dresses (no running to the grocery store in sweats).  No one would ever have anything nice to say about your child. You would have to watch them go from young and vibrant to old and beaten-down in the papers and television. I have a sneaking suspicion it may be hard for them to ask for time off to come to the elaborate Easter Dinner you've prepared for your entire family.  And you can forget about blogging - if anything would keep my kids from becoming public officials it would probably be this blog and how honest it is.  (You really want a child that was raised by that woman running the country?!) All the same, it is a little discouraging to think about raising three kids, telling them they can be anything they want to be....except President.  And only you two.  The middle one was lucky enough to be born in middle America so he can still do it.

The moral of the story is that I've been thinking a lot lately of what I would want my kids to grow up to be.  The right answer is of course: Whatever they want to be.
But if we're honest, we all have plans.  Here are my career goals for my kids as of today.
  • Hairdresser.  Not a barber.  A hair dresser.  Imagine free highlights for life.  Liam already has a deep love for the hair dresser he just met yesterday when he got his hair cut.  It may have been the sucker, but I have a feeling it was kindred spirits.  I'm looking into apprenticeship options.
  • Pilot.  I heard that immediate family gets super cheap flights if someone is a pilot.  I think flying to Cabo every winter for $50 sounds like a great way to reward your mother for raising you so well.  (or maybe not-so-well, but the best she knew how)
  • Restaurant/Bistro/Catering Company Owner.  I would like to be well-fed in my old age.  I would also want it to be stylish and only open when I don't need them to come and take care of me.
  • Artist.  So I can sip wine at all of the hip art openings in the big cities with my walker.
The list goes on and on.  If you see a pattern of me benefiting from their careers more than them, then that is purely a coincidence. I would never be that selfish.

On a sidenote to my children when you're older and reading this....I would be happy with whatever you all do.  Especially if it keeps you out of cardboard boxes in alleys and it fills your heart with joy.  It would just be nice for you to also consider what might make your Mom's retirement enjoyable as well.

On a second sidenote:  If it is 50 years from now and you are digging this up because my son or daughter is in fact running for President and you need some dirt on their mother....get a life, and go call your mother.