Tuesday, April 3, 2012

3 years

Dear Miles.
Today we will go to a movie in the theater just for you, and will then go out to eat just for you.  We have a present wrapped up inside the closet just for you.  Today is all about you even though you don't realize it.
Because, Little Boy, today isn't your birthday, or the day we celebrate you being completely and utterly potty trained (although that would be throwing me a real solid dude), but the day we brought you home with us three years ago. 
It was a cold day in Seoul, but I didn't notice.  All I knew was that I was getting on a plane with my baby, and I loved you so much I couldn't believe I was so lucky to have you.  But as my heart was swelling and bursting, there was another woman across the ocean that loved you even more than me in those beginning moments.  A woman that had just handed you over to me, praying that I would take care of you.  She asked me to one day bring you back to see her again.
Little boy, you were lucky to be loved so fiercely by three different women before you were even one, but unlucky to be taken away from the first two.  I promise you that it wasn't because they didn't want you.  I promise you it wasn't because they weren't doing a good job of taking care of you.  I also promise you that they must think of you everyday.
Which is why on this day we must write a letter to your foster mom, to show that we think of her also, and remember her, and because I promised to take care of you when we left her.  It wasn't an easy day for her, little boy.  It probably wasn't an easy month, or year after you left.  She must know that you loved her.  She was the only mother you knew.  You must have known that she loved you and her heart broke when we drove off with you.
So today when I write her another letter I will tell her how absolutely loved you are.  I will tell her how you are such a fast runner and love to play soccer outside.  I will tell her that you love to eat noodles and just about anything I put in front of you as long as you can't see corn in it.  I will tell her that your preschool teachers say that you are absolutely so sweet to your classmates and that you are excellent at remembering names.
There is a lot I will tell her.  Because there is a lot about you that amazes me everyday.  And I think that the love she gave you those first 10 months have a lot of bearing on how incredibly clever you are, and the kindness you show everyday.  We have a lot to thank her for little boy, but most importantly we have to thank her for loving you before we were allowed.
Your mama.


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Happy Gotcha Day Miles.....enjoy every moment!