To my youngest.
Today you are a toddler. How do I know? Because I got an email this morning from a company that sends me weekly updates on your progress and the subject line read "Your toddler at one year." Seriously Liam, it said that. Can you believe it?
Well, I can and I can't.
I can believe that you're one. I believe it because I see you walking everywhere in your frankensteinish marching manner with your hands in the air like you aren't sure where they go. I believe it because I watched you down two helpings of macaroni and cheese tonight and almost an entire birthday celebratory donut. I believe it because of the way you try to make everyone laugh with your silly ways and witty charm. I believe it because I just packed away your 6-12 month clothes last night.
I believe it, but I don't like it.
I don't like it because you still love to cuddle up against me when I'm rocking you. I don't like it because right now you get so excited to see me. I don't like it because it feels like just yesterday that you loved being swaddled and were soothed to sleep by that weird seahorse thingy that I never quite understood. Just a little bit ago I could leave the room and come back and you'd be where I left you (well, unless your brother was in the room too, then you would be somewhere else and NOT happy about it.). I don't like it because I feel this all slipping through my fingers.
Can you believe that a year ago from this moment we had never met? I had never looked into your eyes or held your hands. A year ago from this exact moment I had never heard your laugh or cry. I didn't know if you would have blond hair or no hair. I didn't know that you had a belly button that only popped out after you ate, like a turkey when it is cooked through. I didn't know that you would love baths and peek-a-boo, or that you would love snuggling up to your silky to go to sleep. A year ago from this exact moment I knew that you were coming, but I had no idea how happy I'd be to meet you. A year ago from now I didn't know I had so much room in my heart for you.
And now? I know.
Here's to another year little boy. I love you.