Going to church with Miles....
Before I had kids I knew that my kids would be incredibly well behaved at church. I knew that I would force them to sit quietly through the sermon, not disrupting anyone around them. I knew that they would sit facing forward, maybe even with a book in their laps - preferably a children's Bible, and if not, would have their hands folded nicely on their laps while they sat in an orderly quiet row between Dustin and me.
10:32 - we drop Miles off at the nursery and shove him in the door. Today he cries, which he has never done. I close the door and will myself to walk into the sanctuary.
10:34 - after listening outside the door to him sobbing in the nursery I figure, what's the harm in him sitting with us if he doesn' want to be in there?
10:35 - we sit down and the announcements and singing begins. Miles is the perfect angel.
10:36 - it is a good thing there is singing because Miles is sees a vehicle on the projector and starts yelling "truck".
10:40 - more announcements - Miles can't decide if he wants to sit on my lap or Dustin's and after trying out both laps multiple times decides on Dustin's - we break out the big guns....snacks!
10:42 - Miles joyfully munches away while kicking the pew in front as hard as possible, creating a nice little rhythm.
10:45 - Just because I told him not to, he pokes the guy's shoulder that is sitting in front of us.
10:46 - Prayer....Miles chooses this time to verbally and physically point out (loudly) to the people behind us that he is sitting with "Ma" and "Da", over and over and over again. They can't get enough. He'll point to me and say "Ma!" and then point to Dustin and say "Da". I hear snickers in the back. He then sticks his finger up his nose and blows (This is is shhhhhh sign). Everyone loves it...except me. The only prayer I'm saying is for the prayer to be over soon. It eventually turns into the Longest.Prayer.EVER. I beg Dustin to take him out before the prayer is over. Dustin refuses because he would have to walk over people in our row. Now we are the ones being loud. Miles starts looking up at the ceiling and bringing his head down quickly while yelling something that I can't understand. I'm sure everyone is looking at us, and I can't understand how the pastor couldn't just have enough mercy to end the prayer so that I can get Miles out of the sanctuary. Now he's throwing cheerios. Not entirely on purpose, but he is definitely enjoying the result.....and the loud and repeated "uhOh" that follows. I swear the prayer was going on half an hour at this point.....at least it felt like it.
10:48 (although I'm convinced it was much later) - Prayer ends, Dustin takes Miles out to the nursery. Apparently something out there caught his attention because I didn't see either of them for the remainder of the service and had to sit there by myself....although it wasn't bad compared to the alternative. :)