It's taken me a few weeks to get here. The first few weeks were filled with feelings of confusion, exhaustion, uncertainty, isolation, fear, and even a little bit of sadness. Of course there were the feelings of excitement and happiness and fulfillment, but they were overshadowed by these other feelings that totally caught me off guard. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't handle change well.......(I cried for four weeks before I got married) (I should say that it wasn't because of WHO I was marrying. :)) Well, despite all of that we are now on week 2.5 of being home and 1.5 of it just being Miles and me during the day. This is how it is going now.....
Being a mom is awesome. It isn't frivolous or convenient, but it is more amazing than I truly understood. Miles thinks I'm funny, even when I'm not trying to be. He cuddles up against me when I'm giving him a bottle, or rocking him. He sits quietly and plays with my hand while I'm reading him a story. Sure, he throws fits and tantrums, but right now, at this moment as I sit here listening to his monitor, I would venture to say that I got so lucky. He is everything I wished for, and more than I could have ever dreamt up. I think I got the best one. :) At this moment I think he's perfect and sweet and the best little boy I know. Right now at this moment I realize that being a mom really is awesome and having a hilarious, cuddly, energetic little boy is the best gift in the whole world.
6 comments:
i love his little hat!
btw - i didn't notice that you spelled bundt wrong!
sue
lifelink group
What a special, precious, wonderful little guy you have as your son.
It does take awhile to fully become "the mom" when you adopt your first child, but when it happens that moment is truly wonderful... isn't it!?! I'm glad that you are there.
Just so you know, you have the most adorable little boy on the planet. Love seeing that smile more often in the pictures! He really seems to have adjusted well!
-Amanda Barrington (Dustin's student)
By the way, could you share what actually inspired to you to adopt, and more specifically, adopt a child from Korea? My husband and I have talked about adopting, and while we're far from the point of raising children, I'd like to know what got you guys started on this. Interestingly enough, I've always wanted to adopt a little girl from asia, and I have no idea why. My husband thinks I'm crazy! Lol...what started your whole journey?
Wonderful post..thanks for your honesty and I'm glad it's 'clicking' for you now.
Tiffany,
I hear every single word of this post. I found a great book that talks about the adoption transition from a parent's point of view if you are ever interested. It's been very helpful for me on some of those more challenging days.
- Cori
PS, the new pictures of Miles are darling.
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