Things I want to remember RIGHT NOW....

Liam edition (at almost 14 months)

Whenever you see Cooper you start panting like a dog.  You heart that guy.

If we ask you where Mo (our cat) is you put your palms up and say "Mo" - as if to say "Where is that guy?"

You love giving kisses.  And not just regular kisses.  In fact, you never did the open-mouthed-touch-lips-to-cheek slobbery smooches that are typical of babes your age.  You went right to the full-on "MWAAAH" puckered up kisses with a big lip smacking finish.

You hit.  Not because you are being naughty, but because you think it is genuinely funny.  I like to think of them as love taps.  Although, I still hope they stop soon.

Your favorite book is "Llama llama Red Pajama" and you will pick it off the shelf only to walk around the house with a book as big as you are saying "Llama!  llama!  llama!" until someone will read it to you.

You still have little to no hair - what's up with that?

Everyone still calls you "Little Dustin" - although I think that you look a little like my baby picture in one of your official "one year pictures" two posts ago.  Can you guess which one?

You've started saying "Thank you" and signing it.

You're a picky eater compared to your brother, but I can still get you to eat about anything if I lace it with cheese or carbohydrates.

You've started dancing, although I have legitimate concerns that you are going to have your dad's dance moves.

You are happy in the morning, hyper in the evening, and cuddly at night.

I'm afraid to ween you off your pacifier because it is like a power adapter to super cuddly time with my baby.  The minute I plug it into your mouth your head is on my shoulders and your body contours to my chest.  It is on of my happiest moments in the day.

My favorite time of day to spend with you is at night when I'm rocking you to sleep.  You make me giggle with your wily ways.

You have cast a spell over my hopeless heart.

You are funny, you are clever, and you are my sunshine.

So far, you are everything I dreamed you would be, and I adore you more than I ever considered possible.

Movie Monday: Dancing Fool

Ever since Miles learned this song with my mom he insists on singing it constantly.  So now you all get to suffer through me singing it and him dancing along. 
Something to note....he is only incredibly engaged because he insisted that Dustin turn the camera screen around so he could watch himself... we were cracking up.

Liam's One Year Pictures

A Day at the Discovery Museum

 Is anyone really shocked that we were totally drawn to art and vehicles?  I didn't think so.

And here is a little gem into the reality of my life.....

Talk about a candid photograph.  Dustin pretty much captured it right here. :)

Dear Woman at the Gym....

...with the adorable little girl.  I'm sorry if I'm staring.  I don't mean to stare at your little girl.  You don't understand how much it is killing me.  You see, I have a son.  He has her eyes.  Her exact eyes.  And I think the reason I notice is because he doesn't have my eyes.  But there are other people who share his birth country, but not his distinct almond eyes.  She shares those eyes.  I know that look.  That pondering. As she comes and stands next to me while I put on makeup - watching every movement, I want to ask you where she is born.  Instead I ask her how old she is...5.  As she looks up at me with that expression that I recognize, I am screaming inside.  Those cheekbones!  They are just like the ones I kiss every night when I get home.  I don't want to be one of those insensitive people you blog about later with their weird questions and awkward stares.  I can't think of anything I could say that wouldn't sound completely insensitive or nosy, but I want to talk about my son with you.  I want to ask you about the adoption.  I want to share stories.  I wish he was here with me right now so you would understand.  It is physically killing me to keep my mouth shut.  I open it to say something.  There's just nothing I can say.  She is so cute.  Of course I think she is cute.  I'm biased.  She has my son's eyes.

The great hair tuft

It's the tuft of hair that never stops....nothing can keep it down.  Not spit, hair product, hat hair, bathtime... it the lick that just won't quit.  And I love it.

Insomnia

Last night between the hours of 2 and 3:45 I had a terrible episode of insomnia.  This happens every once in awhile. 
It starts out with something silly:  For example, last night it was...."I'm so excited so-and-so won an award for their art piece....I can't wait to tell them." (Yes, I am THAT much of an art teacher dork.
Then it turns into the dreadful things you don't allow yourself to think about during the day... i.e. "Ugh, I do NOT want to start a new semester tomorrow.  What if I don't like any of my kids?  What if they don't think I'm funny?  What if they decide to target me in an all-out rage against the art teacher revolt?  What if I forget to pack a pair of underwear in my gymbag for tomorrow?  I must remember to pack a underwear.  What if I forget to pack clothes completely and I have to wear my sweaty gym clothes to work?  What if I forget to go to work?"
Soon it moves on to more reminiscent things... Last night it was my first "boyfriend" Brian McCowen (I use that term loosely)..."Remember Brian McCowen, that boy I "went with" in third grade and never once said a word to?  That was weird.  It was weird because I didn't even want a boyfriend.  I thought boys were stupid.  Remember how your best friend told you that you had to "go with him"?  Go where?  I don't even remember being in the same room as him.  I wonder what he's doing?  Did he graduate from high school?  Do you think he remembers me?  Why are you thinking about this?
Then about 3:15 as I get kicked in the ribs by my 2.5 year that is doing a floor routine on my bed in his sleep that rivals Mary Lou Retton circa 1984 (you better believe I was a fan (with a swimsuit to match)).  That was about the time it got serious, like it always does.  Insomnia for me always ends on a serious note....
That is when I started thinking about something I had never before considered in raising Miles....accountability.  Sure, my goal is to raise him to be a steward of the earth. To love.  To show kindness.  To be a humanitarian.  And to not be annoying.  I could say the same for Liam. 
But last night it occurred to me that there is a difference. 
There are people that have Miles' back.  There are a lot of people counting on me.  I can not screw this up.  There is a person out there that doesn't get to do this - doesn't get to show him what a backhoe is, or how to imitate an elephant.  They have chosen to let me.  Somehow, in some screwed up way, it was decided that I could provide a better life for him.  They are counting on me to do it perfectly - no room for error.  They are counting on me to love him, to show him love....to raise their baby....my baby.  And someday when and if Miles gets to meet those people I hope they can look at him and say... your mom did one hell of a job.... and that is one hell of an elephant impression.