Dear Baby...

Dear Baby,
I'm so excited to meet you.
That's exactly what I should be saying right now - exactly 5 weeks until your estimated date of arrival.
I should be saying how my life has always felt empty - like there is a tiny hole just waiting for your arrival.
I should say that I've been pining to meet you, preparing a room for you, and holding up little baby clothes with deep sighs and tear-filled eyes.

Dear Baby,
These are all things I want to tell you.
And I will.
Someday.
Because hindsight is always  20/20.
The thing is that I'm already absolutely head over heels in love with these two little boys that I've already gotten to know.  And I'm trying to remember what it is like to hold such a tiny little person.

Dear Baby,
I know that I will love you.
I know that when you get here there will be no way I could imagine my life without you.
I know that I'll adore every ounce of your being, from you tiny eyelashes, to you itty bitty toes.
I know these things.
And I know that how I feel at this moment holds absolutely no weight.

Dear Baby,
I feel really unprepared for your arrival.
It might be because I've actually enjoyed having you along for the ride in there, knowing that it will probably be the last time I carry a tiny person inside me.
It might be because I have others that demand I feed and bathe them everyday - two little ones that want to play catch and build big jets when I could be sitting with my feet up enjoying every kick and punch that you deliver.
It might be because three seems like something older, more experienced people do.
It might just be because I freak out easily.

Dear Baby,
I promise you this:
I promise to love you forever.
I promise to not ever make you eat liver.
I promise to encourage a healthy love for ice cream and bumper cars.
I promise never to tell you that a dream of yours is ridiculous.
I promise to always join you in eating popcorn with a movie, funnel cakes at the fair, and dessert after a meal.
I promise you will have a special place in my heart, that is dedicated only to you.
I promise to love you forever.

Love,
Your Mama