Working...

It's been a long time since I've posted anything about any sort of work we're doing.
I swear we're working.
Really hard in fact.
Sometimes it's hard to tell this because I have much more free time than I did a year ago.  And I am in a better mood.  And I am not stressed out.
Maybe this is the way we were meant to live.  Maybe this is the way people are actually designed to function.
Because I can tell you that I've never been so content in my work.  And happy with the job I'm doing.  And I've never before felt as though I was spending time actually getting to know my kids.
I've never before sat on my couch and wondered what I could possibly do next.
I don't know the last time I laid a blanket out on my lawn and just laid on it.  
But I do that now.
And I promise to update you on work.
But I'm in no hurry.
Because this is the new me.
I don't have to live by the deadlines I put on myself, because I've learned to love myself enough to let some things go.
I've learned to give of myself to those around me without the pesky boundaries I've spent years building.
I've learned that I have parts of myself that are worth giving.
I've learned to ask people questions without fearing they won't want to tell me things.
I've learned that most people want to tell me things if I just would ask.
I've learned that young people really do care that I have problems, and sadness, and anger. And they really care enough about me to take it on.
I've learned that people like you to ask questions and to have time to listen to the answers. 
And I've learned that 80% of the fear and social anxiety I have stored in my heart is pure bulls$%t.
So I do promise I'm working.
But more importantly, something is working on me.
And that something is pretty amazing.